come hear a story

I could tell you a story.

I could tell you a story about abuse and alcohol and defining human nature.  

I could tell you story about UNI, and how depression wasn't a diagnostic, but a lifetime worthy trial.  

I could tell you a story about heartbreak and how it feels when someone besides yourself consumes your life.  It's more often me than anyone.  

I could tell you a story about a class that I've looked forward too since sophomore year when I tried to get it and failed.  Same goes for junior year. 

Because when I walked into that class, I became Simran.  

But I won't tell you any of those stories.

Instead, I'll tell you a story about a graveyard made of trees. 

Down in the roots, you'll see something besides life.  There is always something else to pick up that the eye can't see by itself.  So pull out your microscope and look very closely.   Just...there.  

That's right.  

It's a human heart. 

 

You probably think I am crazy.  Maybe you think I am trying to hard to be creative.  But where a heart beats, things grow. 

High school was something I never meant to outlive.  I thought my roots would die with me and my heart would become one of the millions down underneath the surface; a fertilizer for some of the most beautiful sequoias, aspens and pines.  I meant to be creation and not just sustenance for life above ground.  

You probably think I am crazy.

I wanted high school to be everything my quarterback father had.  Where people knew your name, or where your pictures showed up in the #onesenioryear slide show at the Senior Dinner Dance.  Where not only was high school your kingdom, but your roots.  Because no matter how hard life became after that, you still had your Glory Days to look back on. 

So what happens when life became difficult long before high school?  What if high school wasn't your domain and being popular meant too many people noticing your mistakes?  

High school is the dirt, I've decided.

  

It is messy and hearts are buried beneath it.  From when the boy you loved told you he only ever saw you as friends.  From when your teacher made you feel insignificant or belittled.  From when the kid you passed in the hall ended it.  

High school, though, had to be the foundation.  It had to be everything we had to go through in order to get to where we are.  Granted, I am about as stable as that tree house grandpa built nearly forty years ago, but that doesn't mean I haven't learned.  

I've learned from this class.  From Mr. Nelson that:

"Ugly people get married everyday."

If we don't make the right decisions, he will start, "smashing mirrors."  

"People leave you everyday."  

"Now is the best time to do anything."  

I'm done with this foundation.

I'm too covered in mud, but the wind has blown it out of my eyes.  The hearts in the ground beat for us because they know.  They know that no matter how green their leaves will turn out, we noticed them before they grew.  

#realtalk