Equilibrate

Simran, 

I work too hard for this.  

Every day I have to stay inside your chest and watch as you waste my energy on irrelevant quests and frequent burns.  You break me too often for me to even think about pumping the red through you anymore.  But I do, because I love you.  And because this is only just high school.   

I don't want to love you.  I am the only thing that keeps you completely living.  Completely.  Without me, you would be a glimpse into the air underneath the sun.  Without me, you would be nothing but a pile of dust.  I don't want that for you, no matter how much you hurt me.  

I don't know what any of it means.  I don't know why I am with you and not Mary Gilligan that lives four doors down.  It is like when a star is born.  It is born in a single space, a space that it can never leave.  They can't move a particle of their energy.  They can only shine in the darkness, like someone getting to know an astonishing sort of person whom they originally saw as dull.  But stars, just like everything, stop.  Explode.  Cease.  The end.   

So, we don't have much of anything, least of all time.  I guess what I am trying to say is that, I will spend the rest of the ticking we have left, keeping you alive and loving you.  Because it is better to spend time loving you then regretting ever being apart of you and all your beautiful mistakes.  They are beautiful, Simran, they are just long through the years and short through the hours, and they never leave.  That's life, I suppose.  A never-ending stream of consciousness that in season is too much to bear and too precious to give up.  So, I won't give up if you won't.  

Love Until We Stop, 

Cardio